


Not every breeze is a breath of fresh air...

by lola381pce



Series: A Daily Dose of Phlint [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Clint makes it better, Daily Phlint, Ficlet, If fart jokes offend you...better not read, M/M, Phil has a bad day, This is a ficlet all about the art of the fart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7733734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lola381pce/pseuds/lola381pce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...or the art of the fart!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not every breeze is a breath of fresh air...

Clint felt rather than heard the front door as it slammed into the frame with an impending doom sort of finality. A few moments later Phil appeared minus shoes, socks and tie with the top few buttons of his shirt open and his sleeves rolled up. Completing the oh so hot look were his thick black-framed glasses. If he didn’t look so completely shattered Clint would have jumped him there and then.

Instead he uncurled himself from the couch and stood to give Phil a careful hug. “Hey, babe. Shit day, huh. You hungry? What can I get ya?”

Phil shook his head against the crook of Clint’s neck, his forehead resting on the solid muscle enjoying the contact.

“Sure? Not even some baby-bites?”

Phil huffed out a tired laugh. “Maybe some baby-bites,” he conceded.

Clint grinned giving him a quick kiss, telling him to sit down and relax before heading off to the kitchen to put together a tray of finger food; the kind that didn’t need heated and was small enough to eat in one or two bites. Finally he added a bowl chopped up fruit.

When he got back, by some miracle Phil was still awake. He set the tray down on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch beside his husband. Clint hated seeing him like this. He knew there were days S.H.I.E.L.D. took everything you had then demanded more. Today was one of those for the senior agent. Perhaps he could do something to make him feel a little less like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Hey, do you remember that time Stark farted in his Iron Man suit? And he couldn’t do anything about it because he was flying and couldn’t lift his face plate? And he was cussin’ n roarin’! Aww, Phil no!”

Phil had just taken a mouthful of water and was now trying desperately not to spit it everywhere. Turning purple, he gave Clint a panicked look and frantically waved his hand for a paper napkin only just managing to get it to his face before choking it down and laughing at the same time. Eyes streaming, he shook his head trying to get himself under control.

But having made Phil laugh, Clint became relentless and for the next few minutes he gave him a run down of the Avengers and their gassy asses while the older man cried beside him:

  * Cap goes red and apologies then giggles.
  * Bruce pauses with whatever he’s doing for a split second then carries on.
  * Thor’s so fucking proud of them! He writes poetry and sings songs about them.



“And Tasha…” Clint stopped short. The two men looked at each other, suddenly sober, and shook their heads. She would kill them for even thinking it.

“And what about Hawkeye, the World’s Greatest Marksman?” Phil asked with a grin. He knew fine, they’d bunked together enough times in the field but he was curious how Clint would describe his technique.

“Archery’s not the only reason I got that nickname. I’m a phantom, babe. I leave a silent trail in my wake but I do it with pin point accuracy.”

Phil snorted again and helped himself to some food. Clint stared at him suddenly realising something. He’d never, in all the years he known him, he’d never heard Phil fart. Never. How was that even possible?

Giving Clint his best inscrutable look, he deadpanned, “How do you think I perfected this blank expression? Silent but deadly, Hawk. Silent but deadly.”


End file.
